"Twenty-two years at the same job and my boss still doesn't know my name. I'm a very lucky man."

"If you must snack at your desk, try devouring the competition!"

"But how do we motivate them to attend the motivation seminar?"

"To be honest, I know nothing about leading. But it's okay because my team knows nothing about following."

"Due to budget constraints, we're cutting your hours. You only have to work every-other-minute."

"I told my boss I wanted a position where I can grow. She moved my desk next to the snack room."